Dark Past, Strange Future
by Dramatic person
Summary: I never had a good set of cards. I was raised by the Shredder, so what good could I expect? But I had always wanted to escape. Then I did. But now the farthest I can think ahead is the next meal. It's like a prison. Then life throws something strange, REALLY strange. I mean, their turtles! And kids! And mutant kids! What can a random Jack like me do?
1. Broken night

_ One move. One decision. One mistake. That was it._

_I knew that little mistake counted, so I stood there, frozen. I did the exercise almost perfectly._

_Almost._

_But almost is just not good enough for Shredder._

_I looked up at the menacing figure of the dictator of the foot clan._

_Shredder. Not the kitchen appliance._

_Shredder, the nightmare._

"Tamai_!" He yelled out with anger, ordering me to kneel before him. I did so out of fear of his fists, but my own anger had begun to rise at my sensei's irrational treatment._

_It wasn't even an important part of training! It was just another stance we did for stretching before the main training._

_But NNOOO!_

_It always had to be up to Shredder if it was good enough. Not that I was going to say that out loud._

_I'd rather not die before my tenth birthday._

"_Do you know what I expect of all my students, Misawa Jack?" Shredder asked me in a slow, deliberate way. _

_I didn't answer, knowing it would just get me an extra blow to the face._

"_I expect them all to reach my expectations, especially those I have taken extra care to train." _

_But you forced me here. I remember I had a home but they only pretended to care until I could walk._

_Then I went to Shredder for life about a year ago._

_Not that I had any say in it. At all._

_All I could do was what I'm told in a place were I had no voice, no choice, no hope._

_The day I stepped through the doors of Shredder's apartment was the day my life had become nearly unbearable. _

_Shredder pushed me to the limit ever since, calling me his "apprentice" though I was more like a slave. _

_I only got about two hours of sleep, if that, while the rest is training with Shredder, Bradford, or Xever._

_Again, all this without asking whether I actually wanted this training. This kind of life. _

_They didn't care. As long as I shut up and did as I was told, they wouldn't hit me_

_Much._

_They never were nice to anyone, but they had a hard place on their knuckles and knees all for me._

"_You did not reach those expectations today, so you will be punished as I see fit!" Shredder stated with a clenching of fits and an anger-filled look. _

_See what I mean? At least Bradford or Xever would have just continued with the lesson, not even noticing my mistake that wasn't really a freaking mistake._

_Shredder was different._

_He always took his own sweet time making sure I meet his expectations. _

_Lucky me._

_I closed my eyes, not wanted to see the blow I didn't want, not exactly "earned", or even deserved. _

_One_

_He always took three seconds to punch. _

_Two, _

_I counted._

_Three._

_Good-bye_

* * *

"AHHH!" I screamed to the world, waiting for pain, I opening my eyes wide and tossed my head around looking for Shredder. I didn't feel anything like pain, just an overwhelming fear. What happened?

All I saw was a dark ally way filed with trash cans, graffiti on the walls, and a few rats.

What? I gazed up to see the towering buildings and small piece of night sky.

"What, were, were am I?" I said out loud, questioning my surroundings. But my memory came racing back, hitting me with the latest update.

New York.

I'm in New York City. I think.

I took a deep breath through my nose, taking in the scent of trash and smog. Yep, defiantly New York City. I noticed my pulse was booming and I felt like puking whatever was left in me out.

'Come on Jack, you shouldn't be scared' I told myself.

Nightmare. Just another nightmare of the past. That was all.

I need to calm down. Now.

I slowly breathed in, out, in and out again hoping the motion would stop the pulse from pounding. I need to calm down.

My pulse slowed down to a normal walk after a few moments. Good, I put my head back down on something soft. It felt like an old mattress.

I looked down, realizing that I'm also covered in a newspaper.

Oh Right, I'm homeless now and sleeping under newspapers and on old mattress's, but still alive.

I peeled the sticky newspaper off me, holding the rag like thing in front of me. Were did I get this thing? Oh, right, I traded food with this other homeless guy to sleep on a mattress he usually slept in. Even threw in the newspaper, free of charge! Though he didn't mention how it was worn and snotty, like he had used it many times before as a blanket and napkin for snot.

I wasn't exactly happy with it but I knew he was trying to be nice (he is a bit crazier then most, but he tries.) Besides we were both in the same boat anyhow. Might as well get along.

I sat up on the mattress in a lotus stance, or crisscross-applesauce, wrapping the paper around me for any warmth. It was more like wrapping myself in snotty tissue paper.

I glanced around to get my bearings a little, realizing that it was nighttime and surprisingly quiet. That's when I remember that I am f in my favorite part of the city…well, to sleep that is.

A few weeks ago most of the streets in the neighborhood were repaved, which was a bit of a bummer for me. I usually slept around here due to big trashcans and how it was relatively peaceful. During the repaving too many workers all over the place for me to sleep without someone asking questions.

But I just moved on. I never stay in one place for too long. I would just get too depressed at not moving, not doing something while the world is moving in front of your eyes.

I took the newspaper off me since it had this weird sticky feel to it. I looked at the dried up paper and threw it over my shoulder without a second thought. I may be a hobo with only shorts and a small t-shirt as a wardrobe, but a yoga mat would have been warmer than that thing. I stood up, a small yawn escaping me.

"Time for a new day!" I yelled at the world with a fist bump toward the piece of...night...

Opps. It's still dark.

Well, got me up anyhow, right? Right.

Still, I felt a moment of embarrassment at my strange actions and quickly brought my arm down again. Out of habit I glanced around for any noisy foot ninja snooping around. Most of the Foot clan had been so paranoid or curious about me that they would search the building or even my room to get a glimpse of Shredder's mystery boy.

Imagine having someone you probably don't know staring at you at any time, day or night, and not exactly ready to be seen by strangers. I always had to change randomly and quickly out of fear of being creped on without proper clothes on. Not the most secure or even normal way to spend the first ten years of your life.

(I stared to sit back down, but decided against it and continued to stand. I slowly walked toward the sidewalk keeping my head down.)

I don't like my past too much but every night my brain hit rewind, making me go through a memory again. Some were terrifying or less terrifying. I never had a good childhood.

Ugh, stupid memories. I need concentrate on my priorities.

My stomach.

I looked around, noticing that there was no one near. There were some lampposts and a few windows that shined pale yellow, but no people.

Huh, maybe everyone is getting their coffee and didn't tell me, I thought with a small chuckle. I quickly scoffed at myself, "Lame joke" I said out loud, knowing that it kind of was.

Great, now I'm talking and criticizing myself. Must be going crazy.

I stepped onto the sidewalk while taking a quick look at the tall brick buildings, sleeping cars on the street, and the stillness the night casted over everything. It was strangely peaceful here, and beautiful in a way. A calming time, away from my dark memories, if only for a while. A secret of the city I had been blessed to find.

I slowly walked down the sidewalk, taking care to walk in silence, less the noise choke and ruin the moment of quiet beauty. I knew it could be peaceful even in a city from a year of experience, if you find the right time and place. I guess that is why I stayed in this city, despite the cold weather and lack of kindness.

I kept walking, wondering how no one else could notice these things when they probably lived her their whole lives. Like they didn't even really know the place they spent everyday of there current existence in. I shook my head, trying to shake the depressing thoughts out. An eleven year old probably shouldn't be thinking like that. I need to think ahead. I should think ahead. That's all I can do.

Specking of ahead, there should be a garbage can I can dive in some-were around-

"You know how to get home, right!" Something spoke, shattering the peace I been soaking in. My body froze and my eyes wiped around to a nearby ally were the small, scared voice had come from. The voice sounded almost…like a child. A frightened child trying desperately to hide his fear under the volume of his voice.

Maybe, the kid's lost?

But, I-I can't help him. I have to look after myself.

That's what Shredder would always-

Wait.

Did I just concern myself with what **Shredder** would have me do? I stared ahead, in slight shock at my cowardice. Why? Why would I care what he would think?

The answer came to me immediately.

Even halfway across the world, Shredder still terrified me. Still haunted me at every moment.

The proof was the nightmares I had every day after I escaped on my tenth birthday.

When I had said a prayer.

A prayer of fear. Of a last scrap of hope in forces I could not see.  
And it was answered. I escaped.

"I, I, I d-don't anymore. The way home should be right h-here…" another voice stuttered out into my thoughts. Right, lost kids…whoa, this one sounded terrified, even more than the angry one. I turned my eyes, once clouded with thought, back to the voices.

They sounded lost and alone…kind of, well, just…just like me.

Like how I fell when I realized I had to look after myself, alone. I felt something change in me a strong iron feeling that I only felt once before. It knew I had to help them. I had to help them. I just have too.

I don't know why.

Besides, Shredder was not my ruler. Even if he is my shadow

My nightmare.

I could see an ally ahead, were I heard the voices come from. I snuck along the wall, deciding to see them before they saw me. Anyone would probably freak out at seeing someone standing near by in the dark with no warning. I really don't want to freak them out, at all. When the wall ended, I peeked past the corner wall into a moonlight filled alleyway.

A strange and nearly impossible sight shocked me down to the nerves.

I'm not crazy yet, am I?

I can't be. Not even a crazy person would imagine this…right?

I blinked.

And blinked.

And blinked.

Nope, still there. Two strange things that I never knew could even exist.

Two young…turtles, side by side, looking down were a manhole once was.

If it wasn't covered in newly placed, black asphalt.

I did say they just repaved the place. I heard sniffling coming from the turtles.

Wait, there crying?

What, wait, what?

What should I do?

HOW IS THIS EVEN REAL?

**Author's Note: Tamai=stop (I think)**

_"Be not forgetful to entertain strangers:for some have entertained angels unawares."-Hebrews 13:2_


	2. For real

**Author's Note; Thank you to all who reviewed and to you who are reading this I hope you like my story :)**

**() Means translation for foreign languages. Makes sense when you get there.****Below is a line break and will be used later on.**

******()()()()Dark()()()()Past()()()()Strange()()()()Future()()()()**

This.

Should.

Not.

Be.

Real.

It can't be. Those turtles are standing up with legs, arms, faces, and-and shells? Shells and masks and, and everything!I swiped my head back, pushing against the wall for some sort of comfort in support but found none. Is this a dream? All my dreams are about my past, not-whatever those were.

Okay. I have a plan.I pinched my cheek. Hard.

That always works.

Oww!

That…hurt…I…I'm not dreaming am I? I pinched again. Oww.

Nope, not dreaming. I stopped pinching myself, allowing that to sink in. I'm not dreaming. Those turtles, kids, whatever-they-are, are real.

But, should I still help them? I mean what if they are monsters that want to eat me!? I felt hysteria creep through me, but small question entered my mind like a whisper.

_Then why were they crying?_

Wait, were they crying? Monsters don't cry! I listened deeply, two small sobs reaching my ears. They sounded so scared, like their whole world was shattered at their feet. I thought I knew plenty of sadness to not be affected by it anymore, but...this wasn't just was despair, the deep kind you have when you reach rock bottom. Like living in a dark, damp cave with no way out. That was a feeling I knew very well.

I don't know what's going on but I can't hide behind a wall like a coward through this. I peeked around the wall just to make sure they were still there, that I wasn't imagining them after all. They... were kneeling on the asphalt were I could clearly see that they both have no hair, shells and _green skin_. Okay. There is no way I could be dreaming this. Then I saw that they…are hugging? What?

Am I crazy after all?

"R-Raphie, what will we do? We don't know were the others are, we can't find food, people don't like us, no one is here to help us, we can't-" one of the turtles babbled but was stopped by the other.

"Will-will be fine Donnie, we just need to find our brothers and Sensei and will be fine." Another one spoke, scared but trying to comfort the other.

I looked to their faces seeing masks around there heads but I can't tell the color. The babbling one was taller than the other, even when kneeling down; his eyes wide open with falling tears, like he had realized something watery eyes had a warm brown color, that his scaled arms were loosely wrapped around the other turtle.

Wait. Monsters don't cry. Kids do.

The shorter turtle had his back shell faced to me, squishing the turtle-it-I mean him- close, and even from here I could sense the protective care that he put in his embrace. I had never seen anyone put that much care into another being. Real full on care, ignoring the rest of the world just for the moment.

The only person who had cared for me during my foot years was…Karai. But…something happened. Something weird.

Stupid memories. They don't help anything.

"Will-will be fine Donnie, we just need to find our brothers and Sensei and will be fine." Another one spoke, scared but trying to comfort the other.

"Don-Don't say that Raph. The possibility of us even surviving long enough to search for everyone is extremely low, while we have no knowledge of this place and this is our first time out here and-and-" he babbled even more, but it died down into small sniffles. The protective one seemed to darken, but hugged the babbling one all the tighter. He stayed quiet like he couldn't think of an answer his brother would believe or one he would even believe himself. The silence lingered, chocking the world all around.

I felt embarrassed, shocked and useless all at the same time.

Embarrassment; I shouldn't be here.

Shocked; to me, nobody with a close relationship lasted long.

Useless; I have no idea what I should do.

I'm just a passerby, so what could I do?

Part of me wants to keep walking on, but another part wants me to stay and help. Both were screeching within me, fighting for victory within me. Just like the night when Karai woke up from a nightmare, came to my room for help. Back when we were friends...

Wait, **no**!

I **can'**t go back! I can't-I **can't** relive-

But it was too late.

I collapsed, having no choice but to relive the memory like an old DVD that I could not burn away.

**()()()()Dark()()()()Past()()()()Strange()()()()Future()()()()**

"_Jack? Anata ga me o samashi?" (You awake?) I heard a sort voice call out. _

_I opened my eyes looking over to the now open door. A little eight-year-old girl with short raven hair was standing in the doorway, looking in at me. I could see that her eyes were wide and even though her voice would have sounded strong, normal, I heard the small tremor of despair. My firist instinct was to go right back to sleep, but the softer part of me wanted to make sure she is okay. I started to nod before realizing she probably can't see me. _

"_Un, anata wa ichi kuru koto ga derkiru" (Yep, you can come in.) I responded, partially knowing that she wouldn't be here without a reason. I tried kept everyone at a distance, especially other Foot ninja who had zero boundaries, so my firist thoughts were always of ignoring or __running._

_But Karai was at least polite, and actually pretty cool once you know her. We even shared the same classes sometimes for sparing sessions and respected each other skills at this point. It still surprised me that even though Karai is Shredders daughter, he still treats her like any other solider. I think that was why I opened up to her at first. Simply out of sympathy and __pity._

_She didn't mind the company at the time and before I knew it, we quickly became close friends, to the point were she had shown me the picture of her murdered mother._

_That picture, the reminder of an important absence in Karai's life was now clutched in Karai's hand. A white blanket was wrapped around her being held in place by the other hand both in fight little fists. She walked toward me, dragging the blanket behind her like a dress. __I couldn't help a bit of envy that she had a source of warmth other than her clothing. I never got any blankets or even a bed, just a skinny and hard futon, the equivalent to a mat of sticks on the floor. But I quickly stomped the bitter feeling down, having learned a long time ago that just because you have nice things never means your better off in your soul. That was especially true for her._

_She walked up to me while I was still lying down with zero pillow or blankets. Her eyebrows tightened while her lips formed a frown. No one had told her that I was given harsh treatment and I hated complaining. It usually just made things worse for me since everyone thinks it means I'm going to rebel against Shredder. So he always heard about it. And I always went hungry to near-starvation, but not enough to kill me._

_Karai didn't know about that either. I not planing on telling which would surely get her mad. She'd take it out on anyone near maybe even Shredder. Then we would both be in trouble.__  
_

_ She stood there wondering how to react. Her frown deepened saying "__Watashi wa betsu no mōfu o shutoku suru hitsuyō ga arimasu?__"(Should I get another blanket?) _

_I expected her to ignore it and sit down anyway so the offer surprised me a bit. I quickly shook my head, giving her a small crocked smile at her kindness._

"_I'm used to it." I spoke, but quickly realized I said so in English. I corrected myself at the sight of her confused eyes "Watashi wa sore ni narete imasu." I repeated in Japanese. Though she knew a bit of English she wasn't fluent like I was. I have no idea why but I can speak English and Japanese like both were my native language. Just another mystery I will never know the answer to. _

_Karai shook her head giving me a small but true smile "__Anata no totemo kimyō." (Your so weird.) I couldn't deny the truth so I gave her a smile of my own in return. I rolled onto my heels standing straight up too fast, causing my head to spin but I ignored it._

"_No watashitachi ni meiwaku o hozon suru yō ni heya ni ikimashou__" __(Let's go to your room to save us the trouble.) In a huge building filled with ninjas they not be happy to be awoken by anyone Shredder's daughter or not. __It would also get Karai out of my almost barren room, which only had a wooden box for weapons, the foot uniform nearly everyone had to wear… and the bathroom that was just the small sink, a shower and toilet_. _Even the grunts had bigger bathrooms or a closet, but not me. Why is yet another mystery that I'll never know, other that the fact that almost everyone in my life has hates me._

_Karai looked at me, questions in her eyes but she opened her hand to me, the one holding the last moment of her mother. Knowing full wellthe photo's importance,I gently took if out of her hand into my own. The other one went on top of hers. They closed around each other while we walked side by side to her near-by bedroom. _

_Everyone that is, except Karai._

_And even though she would never admit it, I could tell she needed the company to get through the night. _

_The tearstains on the ripped photo said it all._

**()()()()Dark()()()()Past()()()()Strange()()()()Future()()()()**

The first thing I noticed was that I was not alone. I heard breathing around me and felt something like a hand on my head softly shaking me awake. I didn't dare look, still in shock at the overwhelming memory.I could tell that I'm sitting up, my arms scrunching against my legs to my chest, my eyes only seeing a dim dark. My breaths were harsh and shallow, cramped in the tight and dark space. I still didn't move.

I'm not sure if I ever wanted to move again.

"Hello? Are you okay?" I heard a voice say, one vice spoke. I think it was the babbling one, wasn't his name….Don? Donnie? Something like that?

Either way the kid kept talking , "Don't worry we won't hurt you. Were lost too, so you're not alone." Wait, what?

They thought I was lost? How did they get that idea?

Before I could stop myself I moved my head slightly up, taking a look at the concerned voice. I met warm brown eyes, filled with curiosity and concern encircled by a light purple mask. I had forgotten that they were still here, but why the concern? I had nothing to do with them, really.

I heard a snort nearby and I moved my eyes from the warm brown to the sound, lifting my head just a bit higher. Again I made eye contact with emerald green eyes filled with a strong burning fire encased by a bright red mask. Both were rebellious, defensive and aimed directly at me. I also saw a flicker of something else, something almost like...concern? It was hard to tell with the storm of emotions already in the orbs.

I simply stared, expecting him to say something along the lines of "Stop staring!" or "Get lost, street rat!" in response. That seemed to fit him.

Instead he just stared intensely back like leaning towards me, almost like he was daring me to stand up and threaten him. I simply stared back feeling my gaze dull like an overused blade. I do not have the strength or the want to return the intense stare after what I just went through in my crazed mind. I must be crazy if I'm having flashbacks and seeing turtles.

After a little while the intensity died down, like he had been assured of something vital pulling away while crossing his arms like a shield though he didn't break eye contact. So I just kept looking back not thinking anything.

The memory had wiped my brain clean, chocking any instincts, emotions or reactions I may have had.

I just felt blank. Numb. Cold

I felt something remove itself from my head then replaced at my shoulder, shaking it to get my attention. I fully lifted my head back to the brown eyed one, connecting my gaze with his. His entire face is full of concern, his eyes and mouth wide in wondering. I wanted to say something, anything so I wouldn't feel like this, like nothing.

"Hi there." The small whisper escaped me. Why do I have to be that stupid? What am I thinking? What was that?

The turtle looked surprised, his eyes widening to the size of eggs. He quickly recovered responding with a "Hello, are you okay?" he asked with concern, curiosity and fascination all sewed tougher.

Funny, how they were the ones who were crying earlier, the ones who needed help. Now their worried? About me? I wonder how that works. Maybe I'll never know.

I wanted to answer but wasn't sure how too. Other than Karai I never talked to anyone in a friendly or even equal way. It just seemed like everyone I met could find some reason to squish me down again and again until I felt equal only with dirt.

Which makes it hilarious that the only other beings I have met who are being nice aren't even human. Then again I'm being sarcastic. As for his question, I really don't know.

"I don't know. I really don't." I heard a new voice say. It sounded so quite like a whisper I wonder if there was something wrong with it deep down.

Wait…that sounded like me. I flipped my eyes up, the look on both the turtles faces saying they heard me loud and clear. Their faces were now confused and worried both green and brown looking at me.

My brain scrambled with something else to cover the mess up, but I came up with nothing. But I have to say something, right?

"I-I mean that, I-I wanted, well, I mean-I thought- well, um…"I trailed off. Well that was a butload of help. I just felt stupid and embarrassed looking away from both of them to my knees.

Now what?

"Well, um, what's your name?" The red masked one asked. That surprised me since he had basically not said a word to me, though his gaze said it all. I took my eyes away from my knees to look at the tough turtle. His arms were more loose, his eyes now glowing with a gruff concern and a want to break the awkwardness. I looked back to purple seeing that he was just as confused at and worried as the other. His eyes darted to me, waiting for an answer.

A simple question, but…I really don't want to answer. My whole life everyone has stomped down on my name. Even my best friend Karai had cursed it, believing in the lies he father spewed at her only a year ago. That was a big reason behind why I left. Deep down I believed my name was cursed for real now.

A part of me believed that if I said my name they would turn away from me and never come back.

So I did something pretty cowardly. I made up a new one. A name that I could remember easily and hopefully respond to.

A name I liked.

"Masaccio." I whispered out, the same name I had found in a big fat old volume on Renaissance art at the age of eight while exploring…

Sad, stupid memories.

Now three years later I could only remember the name.

But that was enough.

The turtles looked surprised at the answer, almost like they recognized the name themselves.

"Like that Renaissance artist'?" Purple asked putting his other hand to his chin in thought. Oh, they did know the name.

I responded to them with a nod.

"Weird, we were named after the same guys." Red stated coming just a bit closer, visibly relaxing more with each second that flew by. Did I just give myself a name? My eyes widened that out of all the names I could have chosen I chose one of the Renaissance artists which happened to be aha they are named after. Weird. Like that was meant to happen. Just maybe.

"Specking of our names, I'm Donatello but everyone calls me Donnie or even Don. You can too if you wish." He stated looking back at my eyes with an absorbing stare, as if whatever information I may give away next would be packed away in his brain like a sponge. I'm guessing he is a big brained one. Donnie.

"Yeah well, you can call me Raph, just Raph" the tough one, now Raph stated, looking down at me with the same fire in his eyes, just far more calm then before.

"His full name is Hamato Raphael, but you'd better just call him Raph." Donnie clarified for me glancing at Raph himself to see his reaction to the comment. Raph seemed fine with it, just shrugging in response.

Wait, Hamato Raphael? That was how you said Japanese names, which means no-no way…

"You're Japanese? For real?" I questioned in loud confusion. How could mutated turtles even have last names in the first place?

"You recognized it?" Don questioned my question ,sounding curious and fascinated all at once.

Before I could answer Raph answered with "Yeah, Master Splinter is. He was a human before he mutated into a giant rat but he kept his last name and gave it to us sense were basically his sons."

What? Rats, mutated, sons, what?

My brain drowned in confusion at the piles of information, but my swirling brain didn't miss the way Raph's face suddenly darkened. He turned his face away from me, looking down at the sidewalk sadly.

I felt a hand tighten on my shoulder, a three-fingered hand with surprising strength behind it. I looked toward Donnie's face but I could see a veil of sadness over it, the kind that would quickly turn into despair if something didn't change it.

This is bad. Whatever happened is bad and I don't like it. I tried to think of what to do but something buried deep within me told me to do something simple.

Comfort him.

With nothing better in mind I reached out a timid hand toward the turtle, placing it were his plastron and green skin connected. His eyes turned back to me in surprise but his deep despair shone like dark pools in his once warm eyes. Before I thought about it I started talking clear and true to the little turtle "Do you want to tell me what's wrong?" I surprised myself at the direct question but I didn't regret asking. If I wanted to help I had to know what was going on.

"I'll tell you what happened!" Raph exploded but sounding far closer to me than before. I looked up past Donnie noticing that Raph had moved away from Donnie's shell closer to me. His huge hands noe clutched in huge fits at his sides, his emerald eyes glaring right into me. I think that whatever I said lighted some sort of sort fuse in him, causing him to explode like a nuclear bomb.

"I screwed up! I thought I could scavenge on my own even though we were in the sewers way to far away! I thought I could back track since Sensei was right there with Leo and Mikey but Sensei told me to stay with the family and I-I…" he visibly deflated the anger in his voice now gone. Donnie had now removed his hand from my own shoulder turning a bit more to face Raph but not enough that I had to move my hand. Which was good because I still don't think I can move to much.

Raph continued in a self loathing whisper that I could just barely hear, "I shouldn't have gone so far, I shouldn't have let Don come with me, Sensei's orders or not. I shouldn't have… I shouldn't have been so stupid." He stopped for a long moment of silence while he glared at the cement at his feet, grounding his foot into the ground in a desperate gesture. I thought he was done but after an eternity he spoke again in an even smaller whisper "I didn't hear the flood until it was too late…not until we couldn't go back." His eyes dared upward making contact with Donnie's in the saddest look of regret and guilt I have ever seen.

"Sorry little bro. I'm sorry for everything." He apologized in a sincere way, his eyes true and wide. Bro. There brothers. That explains a lot. I looked at Donnie who looked absolutely shocked at the apology. His eyes were bulging like his eyeballs were about to roll out of their sockets, his jaw practically hitting the floor.

I'm starting to wonder what kind of guy Raph is if simply apologizing was that big of a shock. I shook Donnie a bit by the shoulder to snap him out of it and it worked. He shook his head a bit then looked back at Raph with nothing sort of compassion and understanding.

"You don't have to apologize Raph, you didn't know until it was too late." He spoke, but he the guilt still lingered in Raph's whole being.

"And…I forgave you already. A long time ago." he said with a smile at his big brother in a sweet show of brotherly love and forgiveness.

Raph had seemed just as shocked as Donnie was a moment ago but his eyes showed a gratitude and love that come from a protective brother.

"Thanks Donnie." He said with a happy smile adorning his usually grumpy face.

Then I realized that I should probably feel awkward at observing such an intimate moment but I just stayed quiet. I still don't think I can move that much.

They looked like they wanted to hug or something so I gently let go of Don's shoulder, hoping he wouldn't notice. But he did, taking his gaze away from Raph and back to me. He looked me over again, his eyes widening as if though he just realized something.

"What about you Masaccio? Are you…I mean are you okay?" confusion filled my head at the question and the name. It took me a few seconds to realize that that was my new name now. It took me another few to wonder what he was asking.

I looked at him with all this confusion in me and I asked, "What do you mean?" Translation; Why do you care about me?

Donnie became puzzled for a moment but quickly figured out an answer, saying, "I mean how did you get here? How and why are you lost? And how are you not scared of how we look?" Donnie questioned putting his hand back on my own shoulder.

I had to process all those questions, barely believing that they were said with curious concern for me. I was still getting used to their closeness with each other. I didn't expect them to reach out to me, Figuratively and literally.

Then it slammed into me. They have been worrying about me this whole freaking time. Asking questions, my name, and the shoulder thing, all because they wanted to see if someone they didn't even know was okay. That hit me like a speed train, because it has been a very very long time since anyone else had shown me anything other than anger and indifference.

So I shrugged my shoulders out of surprise and a lack of other ideas, just to give some short of answer. But that didn't go to well, both the turtles gaining looks of confusion and annoyance. I could tell they wanted actual answers. Something I hadn't given in a long time to anyone.

I felt myself deeply sigh looking at each of them as their annoyance at my silence grew. I decided to answer at least one question. Just to let them know there not that scary. They are definitely not monsters.

"I'm not…I'm not scared now. You guys are actually the first things that have talked to me nicely in a long time..." I trailed off but I quickly added in "So…thanks for that."

I glimpsed the shock in there eyes but quickly looked back to my knees in embarrassment.

Why was I being so open? That isn't safe. I scolded myself but I couldn't stop a small speck of light that spoke of hope in me. Of happiness at finally starting to make good connections again. Of hope.

"Um, you don't have to-I mean- we just thought-" Donnie tried to speak but awkwardly stopped, rubbing his masked head with a green palm. I noticed Raph walk a bit closer to me standing right next to Donnie. From my fetal position Raph looked enormous. I didn't know a turtle could look almost scary.

"We just didn't now that humans could not be scared of us. We both thought you'd tuck your tail and run like the wind once you saw us." Raph spoke, pointing a green thumb down the street for emphasis. "So when you didn't we assumed you were lose too, then, well, you know the rest." He finished brining his hand back to his crossed arms. More questions bubbled out of me before I could stop them, "Why do you think I'm lost?"

The turtles looked at each other like they were reading the others minds, looked back at me and answering in unison "Ninja Thing." Oh great.

"Right…your _so_ telling the truth." I spoke with sarcasm filling every syllable. How could they actually be telling the truth? Mutant turtles were bad enough but ninja mutant turtles? That is a huge pill to swallow. There is no way they are being serious.

"Were serious." Raph simply stated no nonsense in his voice. I didn't know he was a mind reader too. Wow. Maybe I should be scared of him. But he was actually serious.

"So who's your Sensei? Is he that Splinter dude you mentioned? Is he cool? Or super strict?" I started babbling out questions like no tomorrow. That may be because I haven't talked to anyone like this for nearly a year.

But I must have messed up somewhere because both of the turtles dimed down a bit looking away from me. Wait, what I'd do? Oh. Right, there lost moron, they don't know ere there Sensei is I insulted myself while realizing my mistake. I opened and closed my mouth like a fish for a bit, wondering what I could do to solve this.

Then I remembered something. Maybe i can help after all.

"You two live in the sewers,right?" I asked hoping the answer is yes. They both turned their eyes to me at the question, somehow both nodding in unison. Do they have to act creepy now?

I ignored it, continuing onward to the point "I think I can help you get back home."

******()()()()Dark()()()()Past()()()()Strange()()()()Future()()()()**

**Author's note; I stopped here since it seemed like a good spot and I am dead tired now ;p ****And by the next chapter newly named Masaccio will help the turtles find there way home!**

**But tell me how I did and if you like this chapter. ****Are the turtles in character so far? How did I do on Karai? Any of you confused about what's going on?**

**For those of you that still have questions about Jack/Masaccio let me know and they will be answered as the story continues…eventually. It's just that Masaccio really hates his past, it has haunted him for most of his life. He always just wanted to run from it. But it will be reveled in the a way he never expects…**

**Let me know what you think and Happy Reading! Here's a quote too.**

"The biggest disease today is not leprosy or tuberculosis, but rather the feeling of being unwanted, uncared for and deserted by everybody. The greatest evil is a lack of love and charity."

-Mother Teresa


	3. New hope, Old needs

Both Raph and Donnie eyes grew to the size of the full moon at, swamped in surprise and shards of disbelief at my words. I should have figured that would be surprising for the little guys.

But Raph's eyes flipped into a heated green stare accusing.

"How could a lost kid know were our home is?" he sharply spat out, pointing a green finger at me.

Wait…seriously, what's with the lost thing? I glared at the emerald eyes, vaguely thinking it looks like he's pointing the middle finger at me. Only three-fingers, I guess.

I ignored that thought and a bit too angrily asked "What do you mean lost!? And **don't** say ninja thing again, or I'll hit something." I threatened, wanting answers.

"No need for that Masi, I'll show you." Don answered, letting go off my shoulder to stand up. Okay, now there giving me nicknames? From my position everything was so big an overwhelming only seeing the turtles green legs surrounding me like columns. I felt extremely small, especially after…everything else. Then as suddenly as he had stood up, Don came knelt to my level with something in his hands. "Here" he said, holding the paper out in front of me. The picture on the front stopped everything.

Me. Me. A lost poster with me on it.

My mind and insides went in all directions at miles a minute, desperately trying to make sense of everything hitting me at once. How did this happen? Who is looking for me? Is the Shredder closer than I thought? HOW DID HE GET A PICTURE OF ME?

Not just my face or a baby picture. A picture of the skinny, scared, dark haired and eyed me. It was a picture of me a year ago, but still me. That. Is. Scary.

"How, what!" I screamed out, backing away from the thing. How could I be looked for now? I thought I was safe! At least from him. At least from them.

My sudden reaction caused both turtles to flinch back in surprise but they quickly turned questioning gazes back to me. Wondering why the picture had terrified me so badly. Looking for explanations. Explanations…I don't like explanations. I just don't want to be taken back there again. But their faces…

"Come on, what's wrong NOW!" Raph exploded at me. I saw of glimpse of Don's angered face turn toward him, about to defend me. A fierce argument about to spark, to engulf the whole world in flames.

_No…this is just like before- _

"STOP, I'll explain but you two calm down!" I quickly spoke in broken English, desperate not to recreate that memory. Both Don and Raph looked at me in agitation and scowls, but maybe some (or a lot) of the desperation reached my face. When they looked at me, both faces quickly softened, scowls replaced with neutral lines.

I looked down in embarrassment, wondering what I just got myself into. Not something easy, for me that was for sure.

But I had to at least _try_.

"I was…given away. When…I was little." I stopped again, not sure if I should continue with my crummy past.

Glancing up to Donnie's eager eyes and Raph's gruff attention was enough to say _yes_.

"The people-that I lived with, were…ninjas." I stopped, looked down again, the rest not easy to say.

But I didn't have to say everything, right?

"They weren't nice at all, except one of them. But…that one changed."

I stayed quiet, wondering if I should say any more.

Well…a little more shouldn't hurt. Right?

"When she…she wouldn't listen when I told her I was her friend." I felt my head swim as painful memories of tears and heartache filled my head once again. They were as close as brother and sister, Aniki and Shimai but…

"She…didn't believe me. And then everything went really, really bad and I left." I quickly sputtered out, wanting to get the explanation over with. I bowed my head down, pulling my legs in again to hold back the awful, painful memories that threatened to flood again.

"Wait!" Raph urgently spoke, grabbing my shoulder with force. Not enough to hurt but plenty to push my back to the wall, forcing my head back up, right in front of his own desperate look.

"How do we get home then?" He franticly asked, eyes wide and horrified. They needed a way home. A way I could provide. I quickly blurted the answer, one I wasn't proud of "I have the blueprints of the swears! I can tell you were mostly everything is!" Raph's now close eyes widened, then his stone like grip loosened as he backed away to adsorb the information. I heard a gasp were Donnie kneeled so I turned to his now shocked face.

His eyes meet mine, surprised most of all but the gears in his head telling him what that meant. With the blueprints I would know every manhole in the city and most of the subways and sewer lines below. With them, it was almost garneted that they could find there way home far sooner then they every dreamed. Donnie's eyes shined with the new hope I had given him, replacing the once bleak and despairing veil that I wanted so badly to remove.

Mission Accomplished. I returned to my little knees to chest fetal position, hoping the small victory would last.

"No way…" I heard Raph whisper out, now noticed that his hand was surprisingly gentle and still on my shoulder. That was a little bit comforting for someone who hasn't been touched in a…nice way for about a year. It was a good change. Then I noticed a change in him, and he looked down a me with worried and confused eyes. Uh oh…he remembers what I said…about myself, maybe. My eyes darted to Donnie, a worried look shaping his green face.

Then I heard Raph say "What about you? How did you…" I quickly turned a cool gaze back to his worried green as he slowly continued, "you know, get them?" I sensed that these seemingly heartless words had an undertone of worry… and guilt? Was he guilty that he pushed me? Again, why? I shook my head a little to clear it and thought about the question…what should I answer? The obvious question or the one hidden beneath?

"What Raphie means, Masi, is that we want to know more about you." Donnie piped in, causing me too look at the now serious, brotherly face. I don't know how else to describe it, one that screamed Must protest and help brother at-at me. But he wasn't protecting Raph from me, or me from Raph, he just-just wanted to_ help_ me. My eyes widened and my jaw dropped at the realization, but I slowly shut it at the tall turtles slightly shocked but still brotherly eyes.

What should I do?

Then something pocked into my side, slightly but enough to make me flinch toward the-whatever it was. Which turned out to be the emerald-eyed turtle silently sitting next to me, close enough that his shell gently pocked my side. He gave me a surprisingly gentle and sympathetic look, which in a way was much like Donnie's 'brother look' then looked over my bent head to his brother. I felt another poke, and turned around to the brown-eyed turtle that was sitting just as close to my other side. He meet Raph's gaze, then slightly nodded to some sort of agreement. I wiped my head from side to side, both their faces waiting and surprisingly serious yet compassionate. Big brother faces.

Well…I'll probably never get to talk to someone who cared again.

I took a deep breath, ready to begin some of the tale. I still didn't need to be specific, right? Right…

"I, could I tell you how I got here?" I asked them, straightening a little to get a look at their faces. They both exchanged confused frowns, not expecting that answer. But they looked down to what felt like me pain-filled and terrified face with mixes of pity, confusion and understanding. Donnie nodded, Raph snorted his agreement. Nether wanting to push me more. Gratefulness bloomed within me. They were willing to wait.

Now I just need to start.

"Well, I-I had always wanted to get away from them, the mean people." I said, glancing at them. Still patient, waiting, supportive. Another flicker of gratefulness, my self relaxing. "And…the leader-a really big, mean ninja master…" I trailed off a bit, remembering the Shredder. I didn't want to name names, at least not now. I'll just tell them what they need, what they want to hear.

"He lived in Japan with his daughter and kept me like a slave apprentice, but he had a jet, and one say I snuck onto it when he was flying to New York for a meeting. Then I ran away to here with the blueprints, then I lived in the sewers for a while…" I sloped the words down onto nothingness, looking back at the memory it was a- a painful time.

Only a little while after I found out what Shredder wanted Karai to do to me, how painful it was to leave my friend without a trace, and how the harsh street life affected me. If it wasn't for my ninja skills and thievery I may have had to turn to prostitution or drug dealing to survive…the world was hard and unforgiving out here on the streets, so the options were either destroy or destroy. Not much better than before, but I somehow, just barely lived through it. I still live through it. I had to. I have too.

I felt something warm and comforting over my shoulder. I looked into Raph's concerned and brotherly emerald eyes, a gruff, compassionate attention in them. No one else had looked at me like a brother…not for a while. A good kind of change.

In the silence I stalled, wondering what to say next, if I should say next. The silence stretched a little, enough to make me feel awkward at the void and the sense of searching and longing coming from the brothers.

"Massico?" I heard Donnie quietly say, putting one huge hand over my own skinny ones. I looked his close brown eyes, filled with worry and some comprehension of what was happening to me within.

"You don't have to keep going if you really don't want too, okay?" he quietly promised, giving my hands a little squeeze of reassurance.

But…I-"I'm okay, I'll just skip the hard parts." A pause. "Is…is that okay?" I nearly begged, terrified that I may be forced to relive the still very fresh memories. I felt a little squeeze on my shoulders, and a nod from Donnie. It was okay. Relief cascade over me, and I felt a bit of pain temporally leave my center.

I think I can do this. I hope. Maybe I could tell them about when I lived in the swears. That would be nice for them, since it's there home right? I guess I should start…

"You know, when I lived in the sewers, it was hard and lonely. But…I always felt like I could explore, look for secrets and strange things that no one else may have seen. My own treasure box."

And I had nothing better to do. Yet…corny. It was corny to think, to say things like that. I darted my eyes to the two turtles, looking for any weird looks of mocking laughter. Instead of that I found looks of remembering and curiosity. So far so good. I continued, getting to the good part "And I found a few things I could use, and a rat man that was wearing clothes-and"

"Wait!" A hand slapped down on my gushing words, sending floods of terror and confusion to my brain.

What did I do wrong? The hand was Raph's, eyes wide and shocked for a reason I did not know.

Then Donnie excitedly, hurriedly spoke "Was he really tall and fast?" His voice scared yet hopeful.

I had no idea what was going on but I nodded unable to speak, remembering a tall figure that moved with incredible speed as I chased it down the underground. Raph quickly removed his hand, eyes still surprised but exited, Donnie's calculating yet wide in hope.

He turned to me again and asked, "Was he wearing a red kimono?

I gave him a weird look at the question, but answered "I-think so. It wasn't that long ago but it was really dark, so I couldn't see much…but I think so."

Both of there eyes widened, and they turned to each other with there eyes filled in hope. Wait-what did I do?

"What is it? What'd I do?" I asked in my sudden confusion. They both turned to me a final question popping out "Did you see him again?" excitement glowing from them. What?

In my confusion I simple answered "Two days ago, around here." Suddenly big smiles lit their faces as they both excitedly said "Master Splinter!" Before I knew what I was happening, I was in the middle of a turtle group hug as both of there arms engulfed me and squeezed.

I froze up at the sudden intimate contact, the huge hug I was suddenly a part of. Hug was barely in my vocabulary, so all my brain could think was _What? _Then I noticed some excited talking between the brothers and I started paying attention "Splinter's alive!" Donnie squealed in my ear, then a "He knows him!" that Raph spoke to the other. But just as soon as it began, they released their arms and sat back at my sides again, hysterically laughing, holding their sides at the gut busting laughter.

I looked between them, wondering what made them go bonkers. _Splinter…their dad…wait, I saw their dad!_

I felt a foreign smile bloom on my face, along with a few more chuckles of laughter to there maddened giggles. I had found a wonderful, strange secret after all.

The laughter echoed around the ally, up into the silent black curtain of the night. It bubbled and bounced off the walls, echoing and changing everything to a burst of mirth that carried us along for a good time.

We bubbled and giggled shoulder to shoulder at the discovery, but soon the bubbles slowly popped, the mirth boiled away, and we were left gasping. Gasping, a few last giggles flying out.

I have never laughed before. Ever. A lot of first for me.

As we gasped in precious air, I felt a strange rumbling from deep within. My belly growled, reminding me of what I was looking for in the first place. Food.

Two more rumbles and grumbles were heard, both of the tummies owners looking at there protesting bellies. They looked into each others, now worried for how they could get a next meal.

Finally, something I'm familiar with. Turtles were not. Though they were a welcomed kind of strange, a good difference from the dark.

"Want to get some lunch real quick?" I asked, knowing just the place to go. Vicious green and curious brown turned to me, but both the answers were clear.

_Yes. _

**AN; Thank you those who followed and favorited, and sorry for the wait. I think I may update a bit sooner, so please be patient with me ;D **_  
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